birth story

I always imagined one day being pregnant and having the middle of the night wake-up call with close time-able contractions that would finally end the feeling of being huge and uncomfortable like so many women talk about or even being in the grocery store and having "the gush" indicating that my water had broken and it was game time. Unfortunately my birth story is far from normal. Actually it is as abnormal as they come, unprecedented even.

29 weeks. That was the view on my What to Expect when you're Expecting app the night that I felt tightening in my stomach. I felt as though I needed to urinate but I had just laid back down from attempting to do so two previous times with no success. Then I noticed every few minutes, at the same time that I had the urge to go, my stomach was tightening. This tightening wasn't painful or uncomfortable. It was only noticeable due to the pressure it was putting on my bladder. I started timing them out and quickly realized that they were time-able contractions which is one of the differences between Braxton-Hicks contractions and the real deal. Silly me decided that since I wasn't in enough pain to hinder me from falling back asleep that it was, in fact, just Braxton-Hicks contractions. The next morning I gave my OB a call and they had me come-in for a non-stress test which lead to heading down to the hospital for an ultrasound since theirs was booked until the end of the day. By the time I arrived my contractions had become noticeably more frequent and a little uncomfortable. After all of the usual questions they brought in the machine, completed the ultrasound and a cervix check. 3 centimeters and 80 % effaced. That was the results of the cervix check. A flood of emotions came over me. I was almost paralyzed by the words and all I could do was cry. It was too soon. They needed more time to develop and grow. Their lungs weren't developed yet. My mind went in a thousand different directions. Before I had the opportunity to ask any questions they had sent the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) doctors down to answer all of our questions and give us survival rates while simultaneously starting a bolus of Magnesium Sulfate to mature their lungs. Scare was an understatement. I prayed every waking second that my babies stay inside me long enough to get both of the Magnesium doses. Forty-eight hours later we got the second shot and two days later I was sent home on strict bed-rest at 3 centimeters and 70% effacement. 

32 weeks and 2 days is what my i-Phone screen was showing when my regular scheduled ultrasound technician told me, "Don't move. Let me go get the Doctor." From the looks of things I no longer had a cervix. They wouldn't let me stand or sit up. They didn't do an actual cervix check because I needed to get to the hospital immediately. My husband picked me up at my doctor's office and off we went to the hospital.  Upon arrival they immediately started an IV and checked my cervix. 4 centimeters and 90%. That was how far I had progressed. I wasn't terrified, worried or emotional this time. I knew in that moment that if my babies were making their entrance into this world that the world was ready and so were they. I had prayed for weeks for understanding and peace in whatever my birth story ended up being. If only I had known what God was preparing me for each time I prayed those prayers. 

"32 weeks and 4 days," the nurse said as she came in to do my morning non-stress test (NST). I hadn't had a contraction since an hour of arriving to the hospital two days prior so we completed two NSTs a day and as long as everything/everyone looked good I didn't have to wear all three of the belts to monitor my contractions and the Zabies heartbeats. An hour later my Doctor came in, she, too, is a mother of twins. She said,"You haven't had a contraction in days. I want to check your cervix one more time but as long as everything looks okay you can do strict bed-rest at home. I'll be back in just a minute to check you." I was going home again. Praise the Lord. Every day inside of my belly is two days (rule of thumb) the Zabies didn't have to spend in the NICU. I stood up put my freshly washed hair in a bun and then it hit. A tetanic contraction. I quickly sat back on my bed, called a nurse and while waiting on the nurse I called my husband who was working (no contractions for TWO days! We thought we were in the clear.) When the nurse beeped in I was screaming out in pain. "PLEASE!!! I just need pain meds! PLEASE! HELP ME!" My room was suddenly filled with doctors and nurses. Dr. G (my doctor) was confused because she had just been in my room less than five minutes prior. The nurses were pushing turbutaline injections to attempt to release the contraction while Dr. G and the 5th year resident were rolling me from side to side, on all fours, back on my back rolling again while trying to stimulate my Baby A. Baby A's heart rate dropped tremendously and was in danger. After what felt like a lifetime. Dr. G said, "We have to get these babies out! Stat C!" In the rush to the OR, while vomiting from the pain and crying from being so scared, I managed to text Josh...Emergency c.  The last thing I remember is Dr. G holding the knife just above my belly and me begging her to save my babies. "Please save my babies," I cried to her as everything went dark. 

Josh made it in time to see our GIRLS come out of the operating room. GIRLS!! He couldn't believe it and neither could I when I later awoke. One NICU team came rushing through the OR doors and said, "She's doing fine. We had to intubate her to get her breathing but she is breathing on her own now." Josh's response? "It's a SHE? We didn't find out. Do we know what Baby B is yet?" The Doctor replies with, "It's a she too!" "Are you sure?" Josh questioned the doctor. I'm sure he thought, oh boy (or girl), time to cut up all of the credit cards!  Shortly after he got the news that I was not doing so well. I had lost nearly half of my volume of blood and they were still trying to stop the bleeding. A vessel rupture on the posterior portion of my uterus is what caused the contraction and was causing the extreme amount of blood loss. Two hours later I went into recovery. I was alive with uterus in tact and BOTH of my daughters were alive. This was unprecedented. After much research it was found that my daughters and I are the only living case with a vessel rupture on the uterus causing a tetanic contraction while pregnant with twins. Most other resulted in either a total loss of babies or babies and mother. Although I was alive. I had the hardest fight of my life in the coming 10 days. In short, my intestines shut down in what's called an ileus and was unable to eat or drink anything for 10 days {read about it here}! 

Although I had a horrible birthing experience and it is not anything like I always imagined I have happy and healthy daughters today and the joy that they bring me overshadows the unfortunate way they came into this world. My girls were right on time. They were ready for this world and the world was ready for them.  God has a way of preparing you for all things in your life. All of those days I prayed for understanding and peace. I needed wanted to understand why me? Why my babies might be born early. Why I couldn't carry them to full term or why I was having problems with pre-term labor. I needed peace. Peace in knowing that if my babies were born early that they would be just fine and that God was in control. I might not have had a clear understanding until recently. Now I understand that I was in preterm labor so that the doctors would keep a closer eye on me and my babies. I was in no pain the day I was admitted into the hospital at 32 weeks. If my doctors weren't seeing me two times a week I would have never been admitted into the hospital and would have been home when that vessel ruptured. Me and my girls wouldn't be here today. I understand that all of that was God's way of protecting me and guiding me exactly where he wanted needed me to be. My babies were born early to protect me. He makes no mistakes and his timing is perfect.