Thirty

**This post was written the day after my birthday and never published. Here 'ya go friends!
Last month, On Thursday, September 17th,  I hit another milestone birthday. I turned thirty years old. The number thirty always seemed so old and so big. I vividly remember crying when I turned twenty-six because it was that much closer to thirty. In all honesty, I cried because I had always imagined that I would have kids by twenty-six. We were in the depths of fertility treatments with no end in sight and it had me totally bummed about crossing the hump of my twenties, well on my way to thirty.

I have been asked multiple times how it feels to be thirty since my birthday and it feels great! I took care of my babies all day long. I cooked for them, cleaned up after them, fed them snacks, changed their diapers and clothes, snuggled them, kissed their boo boos, and played pretend with them all day! I did exactly what I had prayed for so many years I could do at twenty-six. Although I didn't get to do those things at twenty-six, I did at thirty and it was amazing. I could not have asked for a better thirtieth birthday. A day full of being a mommy and living my dream with the sweetest little girls I could have ever prayed for.

Later that evening my hubby took me to a fancy smancy dinner at a wonderful Italian cuisine restaurant. It was nice to get dressed up, go out with my guy, and have adult conversations. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

To top it off, Josh called me into our dining room as I was doing my hair. There was a large wrapped box and several other small boxes with the smaller ones being numbered. I started by opening the bigger box and it had the sweetest picture with many of my closest family and friends names signed to it with random words about the eighties and my name in the middle. It also said, "30 gifts for 30 years!" Josh and my CNY bestie collaborated (according to Josh, Stacy did all of the work) and had many of my friends and family participate by contributing with a small gift, a card, or a fun memory. Each item was assigned a number 1-30. It was so sweet and humbling to see how many people love and care about me. Honestly, I am still in the middle of transitioning and settling into my new town. Making friends takes work and time. It was a hard reality for me when I realized that I didn't really have anyone to celebrate with other than my family but here it the wonderful thing: I have friends and family all over this country. People who love me, who took time to send me a thoughtful sentiment to celebrate my new decade even from a far and who have left an imprint on my heart and soul, and I on theirs!- and that is pretty awesome! It came at the perfect time and I am so thankful to everyone who participated. I also am so thankful to Josh and Stacy for orchestrating it all.

My sweet Aunt-in-love told me this summer that on every birthday she always thinks about the previous year and thinks about how she can be better her next year. How she can touch more people's lives in a positive way, love more, laugh more, smile more, and just better in all avenues of life. I really liked what she said and this year I am taking to her wise ways and making thirty the best year yet! I'm going to love more, forgive more, smile more, laugh more, be more supportive and encouraging and aim to be better in all avenues of life. -Thanks Aunt Cheri!

Toddler Tale|| 24 Months

24 months, that's how old my sweet daughters are- plus a couple of weeks since this post is late (I just realized I never hit "publish"). I know I have mentioned a million and one times how I just cannot believe that they are two year olds. The last twenty-four months have literally zoomed by. I remember my Daddy telling me just one week after we brought the girls home from the hospital that the song Don't blink by Kenny Chesney was the absolute truth. Although my babies aren't grown and having kids of their own, I have no idea where these two years have gone.

Kensington Rose, my beautiful, confident, spunky, full of attitude, animated social butterfly. Just two short years ago I was praying for God to wrap his arms around you, to heal you and make you strong enough to breath on your own and eventually come home. You have been a fighter since day one. Today I am in awe of how you are not only thriving but you are blossoming into an amazing little girl who sees an obstacle as a challenge and a reason to try harder. You are determined and I know that God's plan for you is a very special one.  You have always been the happiest little lady and never really complained about anything, even when you went to the ER for a head laceration or had the stomach bug. You still wanted to play and were overall happy. I love that about you. You are a glass half-full kind of gal. You never meet a stranger which sometimes makes me nervous but I love that you have a kind heart and say, "Hey" to everyone you see.

You have grown leaps and bounds and are blowing my mind daily. You have the best manners I've ever seen in a two year old. You are trying very hard to say, "m 'am" after saying yes or no and are the perfect "Please" to your sister's  sweet "Thank you!" You repeat every word everyone says making me extra careful of the things I say when I'm overwhelmed. You pull words spontaneously out of your word library daily leaving me speechless that you knew such a thing. On your second birthday you woke up speaking in sentences saying things like, "Mommy, I need help please" and "More milk please" or " I go to pool, please!" You love your Lambie, drawing, playing with play doh, baby dolls and playing doctor in your high heels while perfectly accessorized. You an frequently be found with ever bracelet and necklace in the house on as well as a princess dress with a doctor coat! You also love to sing and dance your little heart away! You ask to read "Yama Yama" (lama lama) 100 times a day. You have been trying to self potty train for more than three months and I just haven't been ready. You usually bring me big girl panties to wear from nap time to bedtime and do a wonderful job with them. I'm still not ready but will follow your sweet lead.

Quinn Harper, my gorgeous, sweet, thoughtful, empathetic, adventure seeking book worm. God knew exactly what he was doing when he protected you through a very special and scary delivery. You have been an overachiever since day one. The doctors couldn't believe how big you and your sister were for being only 32 weeks gestation and quickly promoted out of the intensive portion of the NICU despite your very premature birth. I find you organizing or lining up your dolls and toys frequently, you are a perfectionist at it's finest! You are such a happy girl and quick to give love at just the right time. Although you love to wave and say, "hey" to random people, you are shy when they approach you or say, "hi" back.

You have the biggest heart of any two year old that I have ever known. You have a heart of gold, my sweet girl.  You frequently say, "sorry" even when it isn't your fault. If you see something sad or see your sister cry or hurt you frequently whimper and snuggle up to her, pat her back and give her kisses. You give hugs and kisses for free to your daddy, sister and myself. They are some of the sweetest loving we've ever gotten.  You are the "thank you" to your sister's "please!" and also have the most amazing manners of any two year old I know. You love to read and are frequently found amongst a pile of books saying, "read, mommy." So we spend hours a day reading and pointing to pictures. Fancy Nancy books or any book that has animals in it is your favorite. You are very technical and like to construct thing with Legos, blocks or even Mommy's couch cushions and pillows. You love your Lambie, baby dolls, drawing, playing with play doh, playing doctor while dressed like a princess with your favorite pumpkin hat on. Your favorite thing to do with your sister is play chase, you lead with, "ready, set, go!" then you both take off running after one another. You also love to sing and dance. Currently your favorite song is Let it go! Every morning I hear "Yet it go! Yet it go! Yet it go!" I love waking up to your singing. Your passion and love for other makes me want to be an even better person and mommy.

Kensington & Quinn you both compliment each other so well. You are everything I could have ever dreamed of to each other. You love the other unconditionally, chat for what seems like hours in the morning, giggle, play games or dance together, help set the table, help me do everything that needs to be done, snuggle and give hugs like it is no ones business. You make being a Mommy the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I love the memories we are making with you two and how our hearts overflow with joy on a daily basis. So far two has been amazing. You both are sleeping less at nap time which isn't my favorite thing but, honestly, you'd have no idea that either of you only napped 45 mins or an hour on the bad napping days because you both go about your day with the biggest smiles, laughter that echoes through our house and the best attitudes I could ever ask for.

I love you to the moon and back, my sweet girls.

Moving on...

Pumping has been a way of life since the Zabies came along. I pumped for days before I could ever put Kensington or Quinn to breast. Even then I was only allowed to nurse them once or twice a day in the very beginning; it was too exhausting for them, as preemies, to do so at every feeding. When I did nurse them it was imperative that I pump off the excess milk to establish and maintain my milk supply. I started out pumping every three hours around the clock.

 I remember having to wake up in the middle of the night, lonely and no baby in my home, to pump in a great effort to establish my supply.

 Every time I cried and thought it would be so much more rewarding if my babies were with me. 

Fast forward to when they came home. Suddenly I was thrown into the routine in it's entirety, alone. Josh had to go back to work and neither of our families where here to visit yet since we expected the Zabies to spend a little while longer in the NICU. Nursing the girls took 45 minutes per baby, not including burping and diapering. It was exhausting to say the least. I did some research and reached out to my local Multiple Moms Mingle Group for support. I quickly found that many mothers of twins exclusively pump, bottling feeding their babies breast milk. I was determined to give my babies breast milk so exclusively pumping seemed like just the thing for me. 

I exclusively pumped through four consecutive months of, excruciatingly painful, mastitis, thrush, a second emergency surgery, the worst case of thrush my doctors had ever seen, colds and Coxsackie virus. Like I said, I was determined! 

I started weening from the pump around 10 ½ months. I gave the Zabies 75/25 (breastmilk/organic whole milk) for three weeks. At 11 months and 1 week, we gave them 50/50 for a week and I dropped the 3:30 pump. Two weeks before their birthday I dropped the mid-morning pump and started shortening the morning and evening pumps. My supply decreased drastically and the Zabies got 25/75 of breast milk and organic whole milk. The week of their birthday, I started going 12 hours and then 24 hours between pumps; the Zabies were getting breast milk in their morning and bedtime bottles but not the mid-day bottles. 

On August 21, 2014, my sweet girls turned one year old and also got their last bottle of  breast milk. It was bittersweet. I had a love/hate relationship with the pump. Today, August 28th, I still can't bring myself to remove the pump from it's usual spot. I sat on the couch for five or more hours per day pumping with that thing! So it will sit there a while longer. 

We are moving on in so many ways today that I can only handle one thing at a time. I am putting away all of the pumping parts. They will no longer sit on my counter waiting to be used. 

It might take a while longer, however, to remove them from my cabinet. 

I also removed the bottle drying rack and bottles today. No more bottles for the Zabies. We are going cold turkey. 

Yes, I am mourning all of the things we are moving on from. My babies are growing up. 

I'm positive this all is much harder for me than it is for them. 

My Pumping Schedule:

At birth:
 Every three hours, around the clock, for a minimum of 30 minutes each time, sometimes 45 minutes.

2 months:
Every time the girls ate (every three hours), I pumped for 30 minutes minimum. We fed on demand at this point so we were going longer stretches at night.

4 months:
The Zabies slept from 10 pm to 5 am. I pumped every time the girls ate (every three hours) for 30 minutes each time. I, too, went from 10-5 without pumping.

6 months:
The Zabies went to bed at 7pm but ate every three hours during the day. I pumped every time they ate for 30 minutes and also pumped one last time before I went to bed at 9 or 10 pm. My next pump was at 7 am when the Zabies woke.

8 months:
The Zabies ate every four hours thru the day and went to bed at 7pm. I first transitioned to pumping every four hours and then by 9 months I also stopped pumping before I went to bed; I was then going 12 hours between pumping.

10 Months:
 I pumped at 7 am, 11 am, 3pm & 7 pm

11 months:
I pumped at 7 am, 11am & 7pm

11 ¾ months:
7 am & 7 pm

12 months:
7am

If you have any questions about exclusively pumping or weening from the pump feel free to contact me! Support is key!

12 Month Check-Up...

Today we experienced the dreaded 12 month check-up. To say it was awful is an understatement. 

It was all fun and games while getting their ears and mouths checked. 

I'm certain they will never go near that nurse again! 

Kensington went first since Josh was holding her. 

I stepped outside of the room with Quinn to prevent her from getting upset before it was her turn. 

Within seconds all I could hear was screaming and Josh saying, "All done!"

We switched babies and I attempted to calm, a very upset, Kensington. 

Quinn's shots were over quickly but not without a major meltdown from her as well. 

The hardest part about being a twin mom is during shots or times of illness. 

It is extremely difficult to hold and console two screaming infants. 

Today I tried to hold them both equally and let them both know that Mommy was there. 

I sat in the backseat on the short ride home and held each of their hands. 

Upon arrival they both took a bottle and went straight down for a late nap. 

After two hours we woke them and fed them dinner. 

What do the Zabies want for dinner after shots? 

Watermelon!

And that is just what they got!

The Zabies 12 Month Stats:

Kensington Rose: 20 lbs 4 oz & 30 ½ inches tall

Quinn Harper: 20 lbs 4 oz  & 31 inches tall

23rd Percentile for weight &

 92nd & 95th Percentile for Height

Great report for the Zabies! 

You would never guess that they were 8 weeks early by looking at them!